You can never know what a day will bring. We plan and make our lists, even if only in our heads, we lift up our expectations, and then they can all fall short or even disappear in light of some unforeseen sickness or accident or need. The unexpected when dropped upon us can stop us and yet we try to keep moving, remaining positive, believing like we know we need to do.
After a couple of weeks of personal disasters that seem to come like waves, you wonder if someone has tied you to a post that holds up the pier because it feels like the waves keep battering your body and your mind, and the waves are faithful. They don’t stop coming.
Well God, I’m tired of all this. Now I don’t think for a minute that You aren’t aware. We have prayed, we have sought after Your words to us, those thoughts that form from the “still, small voice” and do our best to obey, yet these waves seem to pound throughout the family.
Is it this important – what we’ve prayed for? That our family be transformed, healed, and placed on a higher, firmer foundation in You this year? I’m still convinced of it – that You have wonder-full progress for each of us, that you are even moving us forward in our sleep, but these days are challenging us to the core. We won’t deny that You are what we need. We will keep our watch standing, praying, standing, praying, and then take a rest and let You handle it.
You always do. You have promised and are continually fulfilling the promise to be “the author and finisher of our faith” and yet we think it should be a little more pleasant. The only way we’ve learned to trust You is through the storms that come. We find always, always that You are there, that You are faithful, as faithful as the waves you created in the beginning and, that You have and will bear the brunt of the force of the waves of life. Using the experience to temper us into the people You designed us to be.
For a while I want to climb into the Strong Tower through some secret door that no one else knows about and find a corner to curl up in. Is there a pillow and blanket there waiting for me? I want to be inside of You God and rest, protected, knowing my family – each and every one – are seen and loved and protected by You at the same time.
Thank you for being my Strong Tower, my strength, my peace…
(c) Robin Lawrimore, July 2011