Don’t Miss the Turn

I am experiencing turns in my journey — and feel a little like I need an altar to place them on.

It is uneven ground when you actually begin living a scene you have waited on.  Your footing is unsure and it is frightening — even though you may have prayed for years, trying to wait with biblical patience that is steadfast while nothing is on the horizon.

Steps are new, feet and heart hesitant.  Some of it feels great, those parts you can name deep in spirit, and others are totally foreign like you have been dropped off in Kuala Lumpur without language.  You don’t know what is soul or spirit or the enemy or God and what if _________ __________ ________?!?!  And panic attempts to break in.

“Breathe, dear one,” you hear.  “I have you firmly in my grasp, your name on my palm, your life secure.  Along unfamiliar paths I will guide you.  Let me show you more of the adventure!” he says.

I have laid all on two altars in my life – literal stone ones, both built while early morning rain fell mixed with tears, altars years and miles apart.  Altars are places of sacrifice, circumcision of heart, very personal.  They are markers of submission and recognition that He is who He says He is.

Before freedom always comes the bondage — the awareness of it.  You see it, feel it, you know it is there.  Your feet and hands bound, unable to stand and worship. All you can do is to cry out.

Then sacrifice of human soul strength, and in our weakness freedom’s river flows like a dam that breaks open, a gushing torrent of holy water that washes clean, soothes wounds, and quenches thirst.  The washing of the water of the Word deep.

Protecting the need, the weakness — I thought it would protect me, but it has not.  My own guarding of heart has kept me from receiving.  My boxer’s stance at times was hard, all the while leaving me vulnerable, out from under the covering of the One.  My idea of success may be failure in Heaven’s eyes.

But with Him!  With Him, I can scale a wall!  My weakness becomes strength, my sacrifice made glad, the soul strength laid down on stones carefully placed.  Ropes that once bound weary wrists, removed.  With hands raised, the heart again is joyful as we learn to walk making every turn with Him over new ground.

And she shall be like a tree firmly planted (and tended) by the streams of water [fed on living water by the Holy Spirit], ready to bring forth its fruit in its season.   It’s leaf shall not fade or wither [its reason for being], and all she does shall prosper (coming to maturity, bringing fruit and fulfillment).  {Psalm One, amplified}

We can all dance in freedom by grasping the hand extended.  He asks all, but He has given all that we might kick off our heavy work boots and with lightness of foot, join the dance that has already begun.  Just lay it all down.  You may need to build an altar, too.  If you do, He won’t let you miss any turns of the journey.

Those altars are still standing against trees in deep woods where He whispers my name.  Instead of fear, we choose to listen to the voice of the One who sees fully every step of the way where we cannot.  It is in the trusting that I come to know Him more and isn’t that worth the effort of altar building?

(c) Robin Lawrimore, May 2012

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5 thoughts on “Don’t Miss the Turn

  1. Kathleen Jaeger

    These words of yours: “Altars are places of sacrifice, circumcision of heart, very personal. They are markers of submission and recognition that He is who He says He is.” really resonated with me. Perhaps I need to go back to the altar of submission where I began this journey and gain some perspective.

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    • Robin Lawrimore

      That’s where it always takes us, doesn’t it? Back to the altar, to the cross, and another needed meeting with Him. So glad you were blessed. May He instill in both our spirits the courage and identity we still need.

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