I sit at my desk that faces the biggest window in the house, curtains thrown open and I watch the rain fall. I feel the peace and can almost see the glory of the Lord. Even everything created, from rain drops to pine trees, has a voice that offers up praise to the Most High God. I watch the rain and imagine every raindrop in a free-fall is singing thanks to God, landing softly on grass or pine trees, sliding into rivers and oceans just to do it all again. I watch blue jays play and all of creation is so beautiful, and I remember my friend in North Carolina who is burying her premature granddaughter this afternoon and I don’t want to imagine her pain. She is facing a giant of grief and loss. At the same time that God rejoices in the beauty of rain and birds, He weeps with families who hurt and wraps His arms around them.
And yet giants do come.
I remember the God I have come to know and how He has taught me to trust Him. Learning first with small things so I can move on towards greater levels of trust and peace, obtaining all He wants for me. Every step taken requires more knowledge of Him and He loves showing me more of who He is. As the rain slows and sun breaks through clouds, I think of that shepherd boy named David who learned the ways of God in fields of sheep.
The story of David and Goliath is a favorite of many because we all want to find victory in facing insurmountable odds against what looks impossible or hurts way too deeply. David spent months at a time alone with the herds moving them to the next pasture and stream, defeating what threatened life long before the day he saw Goliath.
David had gained a first hand knowledge of the size of God when he had faced the lion and the bear that had come stalking and roaring for sheep. He didn’t remember it as a victim would, the events intermingled with fear and self-focus (as we often do). No, young David didn’t feel victimized because a lion and bear had attacked. He perspective was higher – one of a God who had enabled him to overcome both attacks, to survive and to stand.
I can feel like the soldiers of Israel taunted by a giant when I stare too long at what is intimidating or threatening. Sometimes I forget to remember the size of my God – the One who created all that I see.
But when I remember….“With your help I can advance against a troop; with my God I can scale a wall.” (Psalm 18:29) These words were penned by that same shepherd boy who ran towards that giant, and the point of this scripture is with my God I can! And that is how we stand on top of fear, how we shoulder pain. We remember the size of our God as David did that enabled every step he took towards Goliath. We remember how God has seen us through, how He has kept us.
With every experience we gain knowledge. I look for knowledge of God – more about His ways which are higher than mine, more about His power unlimited, and more about His love which stands up to anything my soul or the enemy can throw at it. And my soul can give me trouble – my mind, will, and emotions – the very areas that need healing and surrender to Jesus. In that giving over, my freedom is found, my strength weaves with His and my weakness bows to His Kingship and I am more free. And while my enemies have not been lions or bears, they have been giants to me none the less. Every time I grab onto Truth, my subconscious looks for evidence to support it! Always…
Knowledge of God changes me.
My friend, Paula, writes, “The kind of fear from abuse is crippling if you allow it. Forgiveness is wonderful and yes, I have forgiven what was done to me and am now married to a God-send of a real man who spoils me rotten! Paralyzing, condemning fear isn’t from the ONE who created me, but from the one who tries to tell me that I don’t measure up. I do measure up and the fear the enemy planted in my mind so many years ago is gone now! The ONE who created me, saved me by HIS loving mercy and grace and washed all that ugliness I called fear away has healed me. It no longer lives in me and strangles me with doubt. Jesus is alive in me and HE covers me daily with HIS precious love! Fear is not of God. Fear is of the devil and the only thing that can release you from ungodly fear is the healing hand of the Father.”
Paula used God’s truth to defeat the fear in her life, and seeking God brought her healing. God promises that when we seek Him we will find Him (Deuteronomy 4:29). He promises that if we make Him our heart’s dwelling place, then we live in the shelter of the Most High God (Psalm 91:1). He promises that He is not far from any one of us (Acts 17:27).
You know it is hard. You know where you are afraid and hurting, when you feel uneasy and unable to sleep. But we choose whether to remain where we are or push through fear’s web towards Truth. Speak aloud His truth, and then walk forward. With every step, even trembling or painful, you will grow strong, your mind renewed. Look right through the web to the other side with faith.
The rain has stopped, but the water like faith runs toward rivers and oceans to do it all again…faithfully.
(c) Robin Lawrimore, August 2012