Blue Lights on a Dark Night and Life’s Misconceptions

police car 2The last time a policeman pulled me over, he did not calmly utter the expected words about ID and registration while I fumble in the glove box (where no one keeps their gloves).  You hope he’s not wondering if you’re about to pull a weapon.  It was around nine o’clock at night, dark-dark, cloudy sky.  I was on my way home, nearly to my street and realized my rear view mirror was filled with blue lights.  After a whammy of an exclamation, I pulled over.  No normal striding up to my driver window.  Instead I see a flashlight in my face and I hear shouting, “Show me your hands!  Show me your hands!” 

More shock.  My brain is now processing possibilities at lightening speed…“Was I speeding?”  “Does he think I have a gun?”  (I did, but I also have a permit.)  “Surely this is my small town police Sergeant who knows me!”  “Is he going to make me get out of the car?”  “Is he going to write me a ticket and fine me a lot of money?!”  “Doesn’t he know it’s me?”  “What is going on???!!!”

Needless to say, I quickly shoved my empty hands out the window.

Emma(Deep breath here.)  It was my local police Sergeant who simply wanted me to meet his new police dog, Emma.  I had recently played a trick on him, and this was payback.  My heart rate slowed to normal after an hour or two.

{Things aren’t always as they seem.}  We are faced with a situation and we react.  What our physical eyes see, we believe and then imagination exaggerates.  Our emotions kick into gear, and we believe our emotions 85% of the time over our intellect.

We all have stories.  We’ve all endured pain, sickness, betrayal, or crisis.  Sometimes it’s honesty we are missing, as we hang onto what has happened in the past, and we get stuck and our vision is fixed like a sniper on a target and all we can move around in is what happened to us and we live our lives stuck on some earlier calendar page.  We carry it with us like luggage that we’ve handcuffed ourselves to and lost the key.  And the walls move in as our life gets smaller as we wander in regrets.

If we will risk honesty, we may find a way out and into the future, but it requires a new perspective and the possibility that there is a different way, that things are not all they prison manseem.  We must choose release, a prying of fingers from what we grasp, what we’re afraid to be without, like a small child tightly clenching a mother’s hand, learning.  When I have let go of what I thought was mine to carry, and looked back in life’s rear view mirror, what I thought was chasing me, what I thought would never change, has been transformed by God.

{A mindset is a difficult thing to change.}   A friend recently asked me, “How much energy are you giving towards what you are concerned about?”  The time spent worrying about a problem robs me of today.  Time spent stuck in things in the past robs me of living.  Many mindsets feel too risky for honesty.  Some of us don’t want even God tampering with where we are because He might require us to think differently, to walk out of where we are.  Even if we know it’s not a good place, it’s a place we know.  Even if it’s a tomb.

Oh we’d rather be “changed” instantly, healed in a moment, problems fixed or wiped away, resurrected.  But we are so complex, and don’t get to know God that way.  As we release ourselves from the carrying of our past, we find that God can pick us up out of where we are and set us gently down in a new place that has a little bit of unbelievableness to it, and something for which you’ve waited flowers sidewalkfor so long happens, and you almost expect to see flowers bloom as you walk.  The old has gone, the new has come.

God’s goodness and faithfulness to me did not allow me to remain where I was in loss, fear, and trauma.  That could have become my reality.  But I wanted wholeness.  I had to get honest.  I aimed my eyes on Jesus as closely as I could follow.  It’s difficult to describe the process, but I just kept seeking the Lord.  And He kept me. While God sometimes allows difficult things into a life, many times He prevents worse situations of which we are never aware.

No, things are not always what they seem.

Our perception is not complete.  It is partial at best.  We need to remember that only God has the complete view, hence our ability to misconceive.

I waited patiently for the Lord;
he turned to me and heard my cry.
He lifted me out of the slimy pit,
out of the mud and mire;
he set my feet on a rock
and gave me a firm place to stand.
He put a new song in my mouth,
a hymn of praise to our God.
Many will see and fear the Lord
and put their trust in him.  ~Psalm 40

Even the difficult, the hard, the excruciating is never the end.  Unless you choose for it to be.  As He was transfigured, Jesus transfigures us, too.  Life’s design is that if we choose it, it comes, expanding like fresh air into weary lungs.

The old has gone, the new life has come.  2 Corinthians 5:17

It’s yours.  Breathe it in.

(c) Robin Lawrimore, January 2013


6 thoughts on “Blue Lights on a Dark Night and Life’s Misconceptions

  1. jane62

    Oh Robin! What an awesome post…big time connection…all the way to Politsi, Limpopo. Thank you for taking the time and effort to be all God meant you to be and for sharing a shard of yourself, your extreme talent, your vulnerability. To say you are a blessing is not to say nearly enough. Thank you, thank you!


  2. Ronda

    With the future teetering uncertainly for some time now, this is a post I will ponder much. After a season, seemingly endless, that brought tremendous breaking and more negative emotion than I could have ever dealt with apart from His help, I am being gently remade in the hands of the Master Potter. Wanting to please Him, longing to know Him, kept me making right choices when I didn’t want to at all. That is His faithfulness to me, because I am very much aware that even those longings and decisions came from His strength, not my own. As I have chosen honesty, with myself and others, it has cost me greatly, but it has brought great freedom. He has not allowed me to camp in those dark (oh so familiar) places, and I am so grateful. I think some changes are coming that will be the most challenging yet, but I thank you for the encouragement on the journey…


    • Robin Lawrimore

      Ronda. Thank you. Your journey, like others I know right now, is about choosing. And you have said it well, that He is helping us make right choices even when we don’t want to at all. Sometimes I feel His strength weave into me, or it weaves into others I’m with that help keep the feet in the right direction.

      I pray this supernatural assistance He gives you will grow as you move forward into the new. Freedom is sweet when tasted. Keep going.


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