Chasing After What the Heart Wants {and trusting God with the flu}

journal tiedToday is a special day for me. 10 years ago today, right about mid morning, God started speaking. He waited for the coffee break that was scheduled during the morning of teaching at the ministry school I was attending. I had sat through an amazing 7 days with 2 more to go and had gained so much already that I kept having to stop and process all that was changing the shape of my very life. And then there it was. As clearly as you’d hear my voice, I heard His.

“I’m giving you some treasures of my truth. What you do with them is up to you.”

My eyes grew big as I said under my breath, “Wait, wait, wait! Let me get a pen and paper!” I found a quiet place and sat down. Then I realized He was waiting for me to respond. Right. God was waiting for my response. I timidly asked, “What do You want me to do with them?” And then the words I heard flowed as fast as I could write them down.

That was 10 years ago. And God always does what He says. My heart was instantly more alive than it had been in some time. God had something for me to do! Something that would make a difference in the world! Well, I was ready, I thought. And that began nearly 10 years of being schooled and prepared by God so He could build into me all I would need to carry it out while still leaning on Him.

I thought I understood what He was doing. (Do we ever?) I kept asking the “when, where, how, and why” questions only to hear things like “Wait” or “It’s going to look different from what you think.” And it has.

Last year life was different, and I lived letting God form my vision and my message for what was coming. They say the 2 most important days in a life are the day you were born and the day you find out why. I’ve found my why. I don’t know all the details yet, but I know the why that holds everything up. I know the vision.

“For still the vision awaits its appointed time; it hastens to the end—it will not lie. If it seems slow, wait for it; it will surely come; it will not delay.” Habakkuk 2:3

2015 started off with a vision retreat and great plans of how to move forward. I almost immediately suffered a physical ailment that nearly stopped me. And then another and another. With my faith challenged by difficulty, it grew, but I found I had to stand firm on what I said I believed. The most recent delay has been the flu. I’m seeing light at the end of the tunnel now, but still regaining stamina. My husband has been a source of strength and support for me and has not wavered, even when I wobbled. My question today is, “Lord, how do I get moving again?”

woman sitting on bed

Over the last 6 weeks, I have found that God helped me so much in the midst of each difficulty and each sickness. What He has promised, what He has said, is always a creative force and will become reality – but in His timing and His way. I learned a long time ago that my strength was nothing to put trust in, but my heart wants to keep chasing this call. It’s hard when you have to place it on the shelf and take time to recover. That’s when God can feel farther away. But doesn’t a loving Father draw near when His children need Him more? Yes, He does, and we can trust Him with anything that comes along. He is a way-maker, a trail blazer, and a rescuer! He can supernaturally pick you up and carry you forward even when you are confined to the couch.

One of my favorite things about God is that He is not confined by time or place. He is outside the time zones and even the stages of life we live in. He can bring everything about right when it’s needed, for every detail has been thought of and is already a reality. If He’s promised it to you, it’s yours. Waiting is an action that says, “Father, I know You are trustworthy with what my heart wants and I can trust You to bring it about even through delays.”

“For I am the Lord, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, don’t fear, I will help.” Isaiah 41:13

My verse for this year is Luke 1:45. It’s Elizabeth’s response to Mary when they meet, both pregnant with promises of God, filled with His glory.

“Blessed is she who has believed what the Lord has said to her will be fulfilled!”

Like me, are you pregnant with promises from God, too? Maybe even some more than 10 years old? He is the originator, protector, and deliverer of what your heart wants. Let’s hold it, but leave the fulfillment in His hands and enjoy the journey, shall we?

Loads of grace,


From the desk by the window, looking out under a big blue sky, vitamin C in hand. 😀

journal believe

(c) Sozo Life & Leadership, LLC, February 16, 2015


6 thoughts on “Chasing After What the Heart Wants {and trusting God with the flu}

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